I don’t know wtf I just said, but as writers we draw out bad blood, as sweet as it is, in order to present the heart with clarity.

I don’t know wtf I just meant by THAT either but, yeah, sacrifice those darlings as if they were petty nymphs promising cheap tricks to our audiences standing outside the churches of our story.

WTF! Anyway, I’m glad I stumbled upon yet another screenwriting blog. I was hungry. This post was easy to stomach. It was moist, yummy, went down well, and according to the packaging, was chock full of vital nutrients.

Alright, I’m flushing the anal(pun)ogies.

Though the posting appears sporadic, I’ve bookmarked.

Fo’ shizzle.

Maturity & mastery are concepts that never occur to scribe-lings. Just cannot understand that the n00b mindset is essentially: ‘Hey, I took art in high school- I’m completely qualified to paint the Sistine Chapel. Fuck you haters.’ It’s like being a teenager- you don’t even have the emotional context to realize 1) you’re an asshole and 2) you’re wasting your own resources & handicapping yourself with that attitude.

Even if you explain it people don’t listen. I wouldn’t have listened. Brutal & savage is the only way to go. You’re doing them a solid and they’ll realize it eventually or they won’t.

I actually kinda hate when I feel good about a story or a script b/c it’s a build up for me realizing I’m totally wrong. Then the rug comes out from under and you have to pick yourself back up. Struggling and questioning is a much more comfortable place to be.

Randomness: I was looking at your 36 Dramatic Situation posts from 2006 today and I swear to god I’ve read those 36 guys a million times, on Wordplay, wherever else and wtf reading today it just gelled a little more usefully than I was handling them before. So again, thanks.

I’ve had a handful of readers finesse me into reading their scripts even though I tell them UP FRONT that I am a brutal motherfucker.

I pull no punches when it comes to reading somebody’s draft. I qualify that up front so that should they decide to go forward, they are forewarned.

So it comes.

And I read.

Then I rip it to shreds and send those shreds back to said writer.

And I never read a tweak, a rewrite, NOTHING.

And THAT’s either because:

1)They have yet to rewrite or tweak the script.

2)I scared the shit out of them so they quit.

*NOTE: To be honest, I don’t think either 1 or 2 is what happened.

3)They think I’m full of shit.

*NOTE: I’ve had two regular readers of the site tell me I was full of shit. Fine. I sure as shit don’t have the final say. I only get $350K to $650K to fix screenplays… LOL. So… 6 months later, they show back up on the radar and tell me they tweaked or have rewritten the script according to my shreds and want me to reread the new stuff. Of course they are sorry for not believing me before - yada yada yada. Unfortunately, Unk don’t play dat. In fact, I told them up front that if they decide my notes are worthless to them — so be it. Just don’t come back for more.

Yet they do.

4)They think their writing is too good for a rewrite or tweaks and they like it the way it is.

*NOTE: This could go under “They think I’m full of shit.” –but they say they understand what I’m saying about their script. They say they actually agree with everything I wrote but they just want to try and market it as is.

Uh… Okay. So I guess this is where we get into DUMBED DOWN territory?

When I write these people back and tell them to be prepared to spend as much as two fucking years to get their screenplay up to snuff, that’s when they bail.

I have yet to meet ONE PERSON who’s been willing to admit to themselves that they would be willing to bust their ass on their script for the next two years.

Nobody wants to do that from where I sit.

Even IF that’s what it takes. And with a lot of newbie scripts, that IS what it would take.

The good news is that every script following that first professionally written draft should never take as long.

But again, nobody seems willing to pay their dues yet — two years later, they might have another couple of scripts ready (they think) for the market and when nobody wants it — everybody passes — it’s GOT to be the SYSTEM. LOL.

It ain’t.

Unk